LOVE
Thump…thump…thump

Life….

Ripped my chest wide open

For the world to see

My hearts been beating

Overtime

The bleeding sea

Loss after loss

Hit after hit

Somewhere in my life

I seemed to lose my mind

Part of my journey

Part of my time

While my cries out to the universe

Have all been heard

I now find strength

In numbers in words

Dreaming fireflies

They light my skies

In small increments

I am erasing my lies

I am able

Capable

To see….

Nothing stays the same

It all someday leaves

The trees will grow

The leaves will blow

The wind will settle

My mind will align

I will unwind

My chest mending

My hearts bending

Thump….thump….thump

HOPES…. Invitation to FAITH

You died
I’ve fallen apart in many pieces
Scattered all around
Time is flying by
And I’m somewhere in the sky
I’ve tried to shake this and make this
Part of me see
But I just seem to be drowning
The vast world sea
So where do I begin
And when will this end
When will I find
That I belong to father time
Picking up the pieces
One piece at a time
Starting to see…
Somewhere in the mirror
You’re looking back at me
Saying don’t give up mom
I believe you can see
It’s your quiet whisper
That’s helping me get through
Saying don’t give up mom
You can make it through
Remembering me…
Remembering you….
I love you too

FLOODING WITH YOU…

I OPEN THE GATES

WETTING MY LASHES

MY HEART EXPLODES

MY MIND CRASHES…

INTO YOU…

I’M CRASHING INTO YOU…

I’M FALLING TO PIECES

I AM BREAKING DOWN

MY LIFE STARTS OVER

ON A WHOLE NEW GROUND

MY FAVORITE GIFT

I EVER RECEIVED

TAKEN AWAY

AND NOW I BLEED

BLEEDING INSIDE

I WAIT 4 YOU!!

MY HAND VISIONS

YOUR HAND IN MIND

HELPING EACH OTHER

THE BLIND

      LEADING

             THE BLIND

COME TO ME….

   I AM WAITING

SHOW ME…

  I AM WAITING

I AM READY

  I AM WAITING…

I AM READY FOR MORE

GOD….  I AM RECEIVING

SENDING MY LOVE

MY POSITIVE LIGHT

TO YOU…

AND ALL YOU DO

KEEP SHINNING…

    KEEP SHINNING …

YOUR LOVE BEAMS

THROUGH THE LITE OF LOVE

The flood gates are OPEN

Inside… Out

Not this ….
Oh no..
Oh god not this
no …No …NO
Why…
No ….nO …NO
Not this
I can’t do this
I can’t do this without you
My universe dropped
I fell down
My heart with a hole
You could see right through
You could see right through me
I just lost a part of my identity
Inside ……out

With you…..

So
..Many
…….Nights
Silent cries
Midnight highs
Broken to pieces
My heart on the ground
I’m no where to be found
Okay
Your all I got
Now your just a thought
In
..My
…….Mind
…………..Cause
You lost your time
Some times I just don’t care
And I want to be there
With you…. You know the
Place
After this………..
…………..
Place………………….„„„,
You were my greatest smile
My only child…
Sometimes I just don’t care
And I want to be there
With you

It always does….

Feelings are strong at the moment…I am finding it is so important to process all our feelings.  I must say my sons passing has been the most challenging for me.  I wouldn’t change it, he gave me the greatest gift of all….Unconditional Love and I still receive it from him…There is something about this illusion, I need to go deeper with.  I have been bellowing out all morning long… to him to our LOVE….with him…with our LOVE…an odd thing knowing he is gone and yet right here with me.  Sometimes I am confused with this…I will roll with this knowing, still a very painful one.  Pain, making me take a look at it all, what to do with it…sometimes I don’t know what else to do, redefining who I am, powerless,I am at moments…My son he is so beautiful I don’t know weather to talk in the present tense or past tense, its all the same anyway in the big scheme of things.  Somehow when I write, it seems to give me relief, I like to cry with this, I get a lot of relief from this as well.  An Awesome Cry to the Universe and more….Trusting the Process of it all hurts sometimes.  I am thankful for all my gifts, and my life, sometimes I am homesick….does this make sense?  Just putting it all out there, this too shall pass and I will shift.  It always does.

I wait for you….

I am crashing

I am lashing 

my every existence

I feel lost

I am confused

I feel broken

at the moment

I can’t seem 

the shake this

or make this

where is my will

why must I blind

and bind myself

waking through 

this tunnel of darkness

trying to rediscover

my being of light

taken my son

leaving me shaken

I patiently wait

for my new gate

tell me more

so I can see the door

help me dig

so I can live…

I am reaching for you

like never before

I want to live….

In the will you 

intend me to live…

yes mine….

which is yours…

I wait for you…


what the hell is going on…

where did my life go…

why does the wind blow

laying in my bed

feeling so dead

sadness is upon me

stuck in the ground

am i rooted to this all

falling downnnnnnnnnn

i am tired of shame 

         and blame

             and fame

what is it that I need to do

what the hell is going through

I am sick and tired…

……… fired

………………rehired

back and forth

and round i go

where do i jump

when do I let go

this time

what’s at stake

what the hell is going

help me for heaven’s sake!

Infinity…

I am not hiding

I am growing through this

caught in this rapture

trying to capture

glimpses of my self

the part that dwells with you

within….

I see nothing outside

I see only inside

that i will turn this

over to my own will my will

with all…

sourcing my energies

tunneling through

so I swim out of this sea

which i drown in

and break through

the ocean waves

to fly out of myself

into your infinity…